During the month of February, many people think of relationships and love. However, few people think about the relationship with themselves known as an intrapersonal relationship. I encourage you all to become more introspective and take a look at how you treat yourselves this month. For example, at the beginning of every year, most people set weight loss or fitness goals. The downside is that most of these goals are based on other people's goals or how other people look. The bright side, considering all factors are equal, you know that your goal is achievable.
However, today, I would like to focus on the cons. Basing your goals on other people's is a form of comparison. Comparing yourself to others typically sets you up for failure. Not failure in the sense of achieving your goal, but failure in building your wholeness of self. If you are a person that has been called derogatory, negative, or simply mean names, then it has impacted your identity. The key is, what do you do with that information. Do you reject it and reaffirm yourself or do you internalize it? When you reject it and reaffirm yourself, in turn, you build your self-concept. On the contrary, when you internalize it, you start to believe in the labels that have been put on you, and you too start to put labels on yourself. Internalizing and believing in these negative labels can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, and then those labels become your very own self-made prison.
If you find that you are continuously comparing yourself to others, I encourage you to do the following:
1) Stop comparing yourself to others: It is okay in life to have markers but when you internalize the markers they become comparisons, which is unhealthy
2) Set a goal based on your preference: Take time to get to know your body type, identify a healthy weight for your height, understand where the fat on your body is typically stored and the locations that usually tone first
Therefore, setting your own goals based on your own desires develops your positive self-esteem (how you feel about yourself) and self-efficacy (the agency to accomplish the goal set forth), leading to a healthier self-concept (an overall view of self). A healthier self-concept will provide a more accurate depiction of your capabilities. During the year of completion, I encourage you to strive to a healthier self-concept.